North Midd 1st XI vs Southgate (Away)
North Midd 10 points
For the 3rd time in 3 weeks the Midd were taking on the team at the top of the league. However, arriving to a setting of freshly cut green grass, glorious blue skies and baking hot sunshine the Midd came into the game full of confidence having won the last 5 games. The loss of Evan Flowers to the Greek gods for the week meant Will Vanderspar returned to the fold having returned from his calorie-filled hiatus in the Big Apple.

Having arrived at the ground without his cricket whites, the skip redeemed himself by winning an important toss and deciding to have a bat on a pitch that was expected to get worse as the day went on. The Midd batsmen stocked up on their electrolytes and went out to the middle with the aim of setting a platform. Apart from one moment of scarecrow cricket from Cracknell, the first hour went to plan with Holmes and Fahrenheim showing some wise old heads ticking the scoreboard along nicely, with the "ragging dust bowl" not really materialising. However, the rehydration break seemed to spark Southgate into life and 3 wickets fell in the first over after drinks. Firstly, Fahrenheim's defence was beaten by Bhatt's first real tweaker of the day, then a misjudgement from Vanderspar as he shoulder-armed a ball on middle-leg before T Nicoll seeing the umpire's dreaded finger following an excited appeal for an lbw which most people in the ground thought involved a fair bit of willow. 45-4 and the Midd were in a spot of bother.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Mitch Murray strolled to the crease to join Holmes and looked at home from the first ball he faced, playing with a lovely straight bat off both the front and back foot. This pair set about re-building the Midd innings and safely saw us to lunch. After lunch, the pair continued in the same vain until Holmes was bowled round his legs for a defiant and important 44, ending his partnership with Murray leaving the Midd at 123-5. Murray continued to play fluently all around the ground against both spin and seam so it was a case of the rest of the Midd batsmen playing a supporting role and keeping the Kiwi on strike as much as possible. W Nicoll and then Nurse did this successfully, at times Nurse-child bringing back the very effective tip-and-run cricket we all grew up playing as kids. These supporting tactics paid dividends with Murray landing his first bomb for the Midd on his way to a hundred of significant quality, celebrated by a raise of the bat and a kiss of the Midd badge. By the time Murray's innings came to an end the Midd had reached 222 for 9, a total that we felt put us in a strong position for the second half of the game.

Out the Midd came firing on all cylinders, Hughes and Bird in tandem giving no respite at either end. It was Bird racing up the hill and bowling with aggression that saw the end of Southgate's leading run scorer, Edrich, for 4. Two more wickets followed quickly, a run-out after the schoolboy error of attempting a run on a misfield, before Bird bounced out his second victim as a catch was dollied up to Vanderspar at square leg. Southgate were 18-3 and with their Middlesex pro and overseas pro at the crease Southgate tried to rebuild their innings. Hughes changed ends and coming up the slope got one to nip away from Steele, as regulation a dismissal as you will see, however, the decision was not-out and Steele set about trying to use his second life to good effect. However, justice prevailed, and Steele saw the umpires finger soon after, in a dismissal similar to T Nicolls' earlier in the day, summed up by a wry smile and "fair enough" from the outgoing bat. A big break through and the Midd could smell blood. We piled on the pressure the wickets kept coming at regular intervals. Southgate's overseas, Morton, put up some fight for his 38, but once he departed, bowled by Hughes, barring a few flailing bats from the lower order it turned into a slight procession as the wickets continued tumbling. At the fall of the last wicket, with the Nicoll brothers combining, Southgate had reached 117 all out with the wickets evenly shared, Hughes grabbing two with Bird and Nicoll bagging 3 apiece.

Another strong display from the Midd to make it 6 from 6 and pushing for top spot in the table with 4 games to go. A well-deserved Man of the Match award for Mitch Murray who amassed more than double the amount of runs any other batsman was able to get on the day. Stanmore at home beckons next week and the team hope to continue the rich vein of form to keep the pressure on the others at the top of the league.

North Midd 2nd XI vs Acton (Home)
North Midd 10 points

North Midd 3rd XI vs Acton (Home)
Acton 193/10 in 53 overs
North Midd 194/8 in 46.4 overs
North Midd won by 2 wickets

Alas, as goes the Rolling Stones classic, “You can't always get what you want.” And indeed, it will require a miracle of fairly epic proportions to successfully regrapple the leaping salmon of victory from the sea of looming purgatorial disenchantment. For, our last Pokeball has been thrown, the last-chance saloon run dry, the NM3 Victory bound for the iceberg of mediocrity. So defunct is the title charge that the fat lady’s song is rendered useless and she has prepared a rap instead. Indeed, to borrow the Latin motto of Elgin City FC, the 2016 season is now a case of “ludere causa ludendi” (‘playing for the sake of playing’ for those not familiar with the works of Horace). And like an ill-fitting tuxedo, alterations were enforced on this day of sunlit splendour. Teesdale replaced the absent Stokoe and Dr Wickets replaced the crocked Howeld, forcing the hamstrung Friend to limp around the outfield – how Australia could do with the slayer of Sri Lankan Test centurions. And in the day’s biggest news, Laurie was replaced by former skipper Parker. “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears”, so uttered Emperor Marcus Aurelius in the year 164. And as if by magic, 1,852 years on, having rejected his sense of injury, Parker returned, armed with a pocketful of much-missed dibble-dobble. And what an occasion on which to return. The mighty Actonians of the NAPFCG (North Acton Playing Fields Cricket Ground) were coming to town. With their deck resembling something you’d serve with quinoa, the big question surrounded how the esteemed visitors would handle the slightly more crickety surroundings of Crouch End’s strongest citadel. For, heavens above, this is no dead rubber – indeed said rubber is alive and well. 4th vs 5th – the battle for Champions League football. As Arsenal fans will tell you - their eyes riddled with clueless delusion, fourth place is a trophy and this is the cup final. And what a cup final this would become. For, gentlemen, cricket is the gentleman’s game played by gentlemen, respecting the ethos of a sport whose roots venture back centuries. And as the Swindon Sehwag won the toss and offered our most wonderful of visitors the opportunity to bat first, who knew how pleasant an occasion this would become? The great Philip Victor started with a legside wide, before the opening bat kicked one off middle – never a terrific plan. The decision was debated by both batsman and square leg umpire (who must have had a terrific view) – one assumes the debate centred around whether the ball was hitting the base of middle or the bottom third of it. 1-1 became 1-2 when he shnicked off the new man, Edwards ever impeccable in snaffling the edge. Indeed, rumours were circulating that when Dale Steyn was given one wish by a Genie, he asked to be Phil Victor – only for the Genie to refuse, citing a Change.org petition led by batsmen all over the world. And Parker, clearly not content to watch this madness unfolding from fine leg, joined the fun. He cleaned up the new man with a hooping in-ducker – Acton racing along like a wheelless car; indeed, the score was 2-3. Three balls later, the score was 4-4 – or, if you wish to count the two fixtures cumulatively as we did on the field, the score was 63-14. Indeed, the French showed greater resistance than the top order. There was a recovery of sorts as the opening bat whacked his way through mid-off to take his side towards the hundred mark at drinks. Squash was, as per, superb – the green one sure to be nominated for Robinsons Fruit Drink of the Year. Indeed, if squash is to become an Olympic sport at Tokyo 2020, I’d want the green one to represent Britain. Anyhow, when the opener was dismissed in fairly remarkable circumstances, the innings slowed up once again. Hamstring injuries are to running what deliberately bowled front foot no balls are to USA travel visas and hence, Friend found himself alone in the cordon. And there forever he shall stay, after plucking a screamer down low to his left off the good doctor. Dre, though not as devastating as usual, was typically miserly. Indeed, just as brotherhoods of haricot beans cling on fruitlessly for grim life when Henry Heinz’s cronies come armed with turquoise tins, batsmen palpably tremble at the sight of Mishra, all too aware that, ball in hand, he is ready to bake them and coat them in tomato sauce, before stocking them in all major retailers. And as he continued along his merry way, Cracknell was introduced from the bottom end with his right arm golden arm optimistic filth. He (and his brother on the adjacent pitch) could have opened The Cracknell Arms, such was the variety of pies on offer. Dewald Pretotius’ idol promptly replaced him, as he and Parker ran through the tail. It had taken nigh on four hours to reach this point in the game – perhaps in part due to the misunderstanding on the part of our esteemed visitors that the sightscreen would move itself – and likewise, that the ball would magic its own way back from the car park. Alas, I digress. Five for Victor, three for Parker, a run out and one for Dre. 194 to win on an M40 of a deck. Things started rather swimmingly. Sehwag lived up to his name, smacking the opening bowler for 13 in his first over. From the other end, M. Williams quietly toiled away. He had Lakey (15) caught behind before he didn’t have Sehwag caught behind – the confusion seemingly around the difference between ball and floor, the bowler looking as happy as a penguin in a microwave. Edwards fell soon after, the victim of a good catch at mid-wicket. Sheppard continued along the merriest of dances towards a birthday fifty. As he caressed the ball around effortlessly, stopping him was like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter. However, stop him they did and when he was cleaned up by the most revered of opening bowlers for a well-made 52, and Barrow followed soon after, game was very much on. The middies sweating like Salman Butt outside a William Hill, 90-1 had become 106-5, with some batting more careless than Lizzie Armitstead’s diary arrangements. Teesdale offered a return catch to the decent offie and Cracknell unfurled some dreamy drives, only to be cleaned up attempting to repeat the trick. This brought the stricken Friend to the crease to join the Swansea Sobers. Friend, showing all the agility of a freight train, was in no state to run and so, set about twatting the great Williams to all parts. He was promptly bowled for 12, undone by his desire to send the ball to Gen Dan Fushia. Parker came and went, attempting something similar. “Oh crumbs” seemed to be the general point of view on the boundary edge. 8 down, 50 to get. Cometh the hour, cometh the Doctor. Dre appeared cool as a very cold cucumber while the rest of us perspired like a pudding in a pot. As the target edged its way down, the angst grew. Dre planted one homer into next week, while Roberts hammered one straight back over the bowler. The atmosphere was so tense, if Michael Jackson had walked in with a portion of chips, you would have heard the vinegar sizzle on them. 8 required off the last over. Dre, much to the chagrin of the opening bowler, Chinese cut the first ball for four. A single brought Roberts on strike and the coolest man outside of Lapland finished the job, whacking through mid-wicket to set off jubilant scenes on the sidelines. Needless to say, this was a game marred by some, frankly, staggering incidents. A genuine congratulations to all for, not only getting over the line to win a close game, but also for remaining dignified in the face of potentially provocative actions and jibes. Hampstead, Richmond and Ealing all won so bit of a bummer in that respect. We march on though. The Yvette Derby next week. This is our title (for another four weeks). Let’s enjoy it.

North Midd 4th XI vs Brondesbury (Home)
North Midd 201 from 47.1 overs
Brondesbury 203/4 from 48.1 overs
Brondesbury won by six wickets

The 4s players congregated on the boundary at Douglas Eyre, with the sun shining brightly – the air of optimism hanging heavily over our 10-man side (9-man/1-woman) knowing that the hunt for a key 10 points was minutes away. Pistol headed out to the middle to do the toss, which he lost, seeing us get put into bat for the second week in a row. Richard Verity and KP got their pads on and headed out to the middle, determined to get the innings off to a solid start. Sadly, sometimes sport doesn’t go quite the way you hoped, and Rich’s accidental demonstration of why he’s too tall for cricket saw a full and straight delivery squeeze through the gap between bat and pitch, straight into his stumps. Percy joined KP at the crease and after three overs had passed, we were still sitting at 1-0 – but after he hit their opener for three 4s in an over, you could tell that KP’s chase for his first North Midd hundred wasn’t going to be a shy one. Unfortunately Percy didn’t stick around much longer and nicked off in the fifth over for 0, meaning KP and Joe James had some work to do steadying the ship – and steady it they did. Eleven overs in and we were 45-2, runs were coming easy thanks to an unforgiving Walthamstow pitch and a very quick outfield, until Joe James played a forward push along his own interpretation of the ball’s line, seeing his bails removed. KP’s charge for a century was still going strong and at 53-3, he was on 42 from 43. Brondesbury’s opening bowlers finding very little movement off the pitch and even less so in the air, frequently handing out one or two half volleys or half trackers an over. This amount of poor bowling should mean that it’s easy pickings and you don’t have to do anything stupid – wrong. A rush of blood to the head saw KP very unhelpfully carve an offside half-volley straight to the hands of cover. The 4s desperately needed two level heads at the crease now, planning on getting us through the rest of the innings, having lost 4 wickets in the first fifteen overs. Alex Gallacher in his first game for the 4s and Jimmy Cannon returning to action batted brilliantly, putting on 94 between them in a superb display of controlled aggression and strike rotation. After Jimmy fell to a Marlon Samuels-esque quicker ball that later did for Simon and Lulu, nice little cameos from Pistol and Wasim allowed Alex to keep pushing and that’s what he did – getting us up to the respectable total of 201/9 from 48 overs. In the opposite fixture earlier this season, we bowled Brondesbury out for 85, so at tea time the team was itching to get back out onto the field, knock the batsmen over and enjoy the rest of the sunshine that was on offer. Alex Gallacher opened up and thanks to some lacklustre fielding at point, let through a couple of early boundaries, as the pace on the ball was very powerfully redirected by the Brondesbury opener. At the other end Percy was having better luck, bowling his first four overs for just 1 run – and it was after his third maiden that the Mighty Fours struck. KP’s full and straight delivery was hit back past him for what the batsman on strike felt was a single, but her partner was too busy watching the puma-like Simon Friend cut off the ball and fire it down to Jimmy’s end to leave her well short. The other opener Tariq carried on batting in his usual fashion, swinging hard at anything full, and nudging anything short for singles, which manoeuvred them to 83/1 after 17. At drinks we knew that we were still well in the game, and that a couple of quick wickets could put us straight back into the driver’s seat. It’s amazing the effects that a couple of plastic cups full of e numbers can have on a person, and the first ball after drinks brought a lapse in concentration from the senior player, who sliced one straight up in the air which fell into the hands of a backpedalling Alex G. The batsmen crossed and number 3 nicked one straight into the hands of Jimmy Cannon the very next ball! 83/3 with two new batsmen at the crease meant that 202 looked a long way away. Their number four was removed by a full delivery from Pistol for leaving them 109/4, leaving all the momentum in our hands, and them with plenty more runs to get. This next partnership between the 13-year old number five and their senior number six was an exhibition in how to control a chase to the end. We had almost no chances come our way, as bowler after bowler threw whatever they had left at them, it was dealt with appropriately. And with 30 to get from the last nine overs, Pistol handed KP the ball with the instruction to bowl tightly. If the game wasn’t already dead, KP took the role of judge, jury and executioner upon himself, serving up two overs of legside deliveries into a 6-2 offside field. Leaving them with 3 to win from five overs, which they only needed one ball for – so the game was lost. With four games to go in the season, and such a tight pack formed in the middle of the table, the 4s have every chance of still ending up right in the centre, so onto the next game!

North Midd 5th XI vs Acton (Away)
North Midd 152/10 from 46.4 overs
Acton 156/5 from 31.4 overs
Acton won by 5 wickets

The 5s arrived at the North Acton Playing Fields Cricket Ground (NAPFCG) unsure what to expect, especially after Friendy's early-season portrayal of the venue as something between a nuclear bunker and a Lewis Carroll novel. Indeed, with no sign of footballers or a man in pink blazer or pink bow tie upon arrival, we wondered whether Friendy had dreamt up these apparitions whilst stuck in a Parisian office. But then, the man dressed all in yellow did indeed arrive, slaloming his truck between the benches and across most of the outfield, before sending us to the top wicket, covered with grass patches on a length. Arj promptly lost a farcical toss, conducted in the thick stuff with the coin landing vertically and we were unsurprisingly asked to bat first on a baking hot afternoon. Junaid (35) and Dave (30) gave us the perfect start, even if the former was struck twice off balls which reared from nowhere. Dave helped himself to plenty of runs through point with his trademark back cut as the opening pair added 50 in a little over 10 overs. Junaid was eventually bowled sweeping their left armer, who ended with 8 fer and bowled superbly, assisted by dense trees behind his arm, sparking a middle order collapse. Oon, returning tohis old stomping ground, was triggered by their umpire and former clubmate Simon, presumably in exchange for petrol fees in taking him to games as a youngster. It's fair to say that Tim's dismissal ought to be recorded as BBW (box before wicket) and was more than a trifle high. Arj, Alban and Charles, worringly overexcited by the arrival of his new bat, all timed the ball well, but almost always found the fielders, before being undone by Reeve's spin. Ollie Morgan provided some beefy hitting and late order resistance as we posted 152, not the worst score on that deck. An excellent tea followed, delivered by a lady whose face we never actually saw, as cake, sandwiches and fruit arrived from behind the trees from an unspecified vehicle. Food duly consumed, we began our fielding endeavours, but sadly lost Laurie to a back problem after 3 overs. Ollie (2 for 27 off 8) took over and bowled with good pace, snaring the opener, a fine grab by Junaid high up at slip. Joe Bangerter plugged away at the other end but, as has been the case almost all season, was utterly luckless, with nicks flying past catchers, high balls dropping safe and lbws not being given. At 70 odd for 2, Acton were well placed, but we were still right in the game with some tight bowling. James Martland (2 for 28 off 7), younger, inferior and less good-looking brother of Charles, came on to take his first two Midd wickets, one nicked to Dave behind the timbers, the other bang in front to an inswinger. Charles grabbed a wicket at the other end with the worst ball of his spell, somehow spooned up in the air by the batsman. At 5 down we pressed for the win, but sadly it didn't come and Acton knocked them off. Decent game, no luck again, couple of decisions not going our way but that's club cricket. 4 to go, wins needed but heads our up. On to Chiswick next week.