A wet morning delayed the start to 1.20pm, a 100 over game. 55 maximum for the team batting first, which was Twickenham who won the toss. Joel Hughes, a fine man, was again pick of the bowling with an incredible 7-62 off 15 ripping through the Twickenham top 4. Their skipper came in at 5 and batted a dream, punishing anything lose, ending up with 90. In partnership with Nurse 2-32 off 16, Hughes ran through the tail to bowl them out for 199. At 73-5 we were hoping for the better, but Ginger McNuggets produced a good wicket and we were confident about chasing them down. A quality opening partnership from Holmes (35) and Cracknell (55) gave us a cracking platform of 80 without loss. However the middle order continued their poor run of form and we collapsed losing 5 wickets for 22 runs. Holman (5) on debut was unlucky with a strange dismissal, then Murrary (0), Flowers (0), T Nicoll (7), Hughes (5). At 118-6 we were up against it but the tail again wagged. W Nicoll (13), Nurse (26) and Brand (26) ticked it along nicely, edging us closer. We ended up needing 20 off 3 overs with 3 wickets left. Brand hitting bombs and Nurse effortlessly picking up 1s and 2s. Now only 9 from 2 overs, we looked likely to win however both fell in the penultimate over bringing Bird and Holmes (returning to the crease riddled with cramp) to the crease. We ended up an agonising 8 runs short, a great game of cricket which unfortunately didn't go our way. Again, for about 4th time this season we got ourselves into great positions to win but just lacked the clinical sharpness. With the talent in the squad its only a matter of time and I'm confident the results will start turning our way.

North Midd 2nd XI vs Stanmore (Away)
North Midd 245-5 off 50
Stanmore 127 all out
North Midd won

Proper teams bat deep and share responsibility. Sustainable clubs develop these traits. Today was a reminder, need one be necessary, that the Midd is the fertile breeding ground for such qualities. A 120 run victory in dank, damp Stanmore powered by a steaming Ben-O, a mesmerising Max, a doctor named LOD and a double denim teen Elle Girl heart throb Cracknell in a richer vain of form than Jimmy Oldham singing Ten CC in the mirror. The team arrived uncharacteristically early only to find Stanmore's new covers had left two thirds of the pitch wetter than Camel's banter. The top end popping crease was notably sticky. But through a combination of a bullish umpire, some sawdust and time, Millsie lost yet another toss and we went out to bat at half one. Ricketts and LOD, returning to the team after Bulgarian and Cuban excursions respectively, weathered early pressure and laid a solid platform reaching 46 off 12 overs. Although Ricketts lost his middle stump and Zulf soon followed, fortunately we had the calmness of a desert horse named Joe at 4 and he helped tick the score along in tough conditions powered by the an increasingly free flowing medic. Yet at 140-5 off nearly 40 when Joe, Liam and Mills lost their wickets in quick succession, we were hardly running amock. Enter the man of the hour Matt and Will Chambers. Through a combination of outstanding running, a positive attitude, some excellent hitting and more than a dash of luck, the two thoroughbreds blazed a hundred partnership off nine overs to take us to 245-5 declared off 50. Over an excellent tea, John was adamant that only half the job was done. Literally. The youngest Oldham in Middlesex cricket opened up with a northern soul called Carol and quickly made the breakthrough. But Stanmore counter attacked and their no.3 bashed his way to 35 making the game even after ten. With John just about to take the Jambon off, Jimmy had the danger man caught Ricketts at fine leg in "a trap" (hmm) allowing the long limbed Owen to take over with the doc. But Stanmore battled and were looking solid at nearly 100-2 off 22. Then Max, the teenage tennis star with a penchant for weekend breaks with young actresses, took over from senior house officer and suddenly the momentum shifted. The 15yo had their effective number four caught behind, just reward for a consistently nagging line, and Ben stoked up some heat to bounce out the dogged opener. 105-4 at drinks and we were in the ascendancy. And so it provided as Max continued to probe and Ben bombed in to burst through Stanmore's shaky lower middle order with one caught 2nd slip, another leg gully and short midwicket before cleaning up their no 9 first ball. A second five-fer in successive weeks for the lifeguard. We had fought hard and caught well to get into this position. As the gloom set in, Rich came back on to remove the tailenders in customary figure flattering fashion. 127 all out. Four wins on the trot. All eleven contributing and all the better for the young guns putting their hands up and leading the team to another ten points. We march on.

North Midd 3rd XI vs Uxbridge (Away)
North Midd 208 from 53 overs
Uxbridge 165/10 from 45.5 overs
North Midd won by 43 runs

Remember, remember the 5th of September. Indeed, remember it we did – our last visit to the finest pastures that Hillingdon has to offer had seen the mighty 3s put the sweetest of cherries on top of a title-winning cake. Much has changed since The Lakey Lads achieved immortality on that splendid occasion. Lakey, for one, was absent. So too, was the Swindon Sehwag – busy sauntering his way through France, doubtless ducking and diving through the surprisingly popular flare tossing alternative (clearly a Croatian take on the Highland Games) to the football on show. Our inspirational yet absent captain, Paddy Parker, the wicketkeeper on that most historic day – he too misses out, his shoulder not yet up to the rigours of 3rd XI cricket. And so it was, that HRH the Honourable and Ever-Imbeccable Michael Edwards QC should dust off the armband from his 2010 drawer and thrust his sparkle back upon the captaincy. And he would need all that sparkle as the most astonishing of days unfolded. Cricket, they say, is the gentleman’s game. And how gentlemanly it all appeared as the Middies squelched their way through Uxbridge’s puddles – rolled out like the red carpet for their esteemed title-holding visitors. Both sides bonded over the apparent hilarity of the small lake that appeared before our very eyes, just back of a length. With the going good to soft in places, a delayed start was agreed to allow the ducks to vacate the area and we felt honoured to be afforded the opportunity to bat first on a deck that looked like it had been dropped in from Homebase. Gaurav and Verity opened up - a wonderful combination of the most brutal of chalks and the most elegant of cheeses, and they rocketed along with both men making 20 before both slashing to gully. This brought Edwards Esquire and Alan 'Sparrow' Dixon to the crease. They put on a show of exquisite batsmanship, wearing down our hosts with some tremendously gentlemanly strokes. Indeed, W.G. Grace could be heard applauding from his Beckenham grave. A joy to watch from the Long Room of the decrepit shed. 40-2 had become 130-2 with both senior pros in this relative crèche of a side passing fifty. When Dixon snicked off, Friendy came out to join the ever-impeccable Edwards. This didn’t last long as, in a rare show of unimpeccability, he sold his counterpart down the Seine. And so, 150-3 became 155-4, 156-5, 160-6, 170-7, 180-8 and 195-9. A cracking little collapse. A limp to 208. With a nice little tea being consumed (terrific chips after application of salt – compliments to the chef), the Middies took to the field, knowing that 208 was a deceptively useful score on the allotment. In the absence of club legend and Wayne Parnell’s hero Philip Victor, Dre was thrown the new ball to share with young firebrand Garrett (3-42). With the good doctor keeping things typically tight and miserly (23-9-59-6), George took the opening two wickets. First, he had one of the openers caught, although, to be honest, this writer can’t remember that wicket. Then, Garrett got a second, hitting the other opener on the shin on the back foot in front of middle. Dre soon joined Garrett in the wickets enclosure, the batsman hopping on the Bakerloo line when, indeed, the ball was elsewhere. Then, the runs picked up and, as we have tended to do this year when we’ve felt on top, we proceeded to offer the initiative back to our opponents with some generous fielding. 20-3 became 80-3 quicker than a Russian athlete on testing day. When drinks coincided with a fourth wicket, the game was very much in the balance. With Dre keeping the rate in check, Friendy and Heners created chances but served up too much loose stuff – the M40’s newest addition in the form of a red ball being testament to this. The match’s defining moment came when Sharma, who had bludgeoned his way to a belligerent 69, dragged his foot out and was stumped. 140-5 and suddenly game on. When the Battle of Uxbridge is looked back upon in 40 years time by historians trying to work out whether 3rd XI cricket is taken too seriously, I reckon they’ll pinpoint this as the moment that things became a little less jovial and unearthed some feist. In the words of Victor Hugo, “there was a quivering in the grass which seemed like the departure of souls.” Dre picked up two more and the ascendancy was with the champions. Garrett replaced Friendy, and subsequently declared his hatred of bowling at tailenders, citing it as boring. What happened next was anything but. He introduced the ball to the base of middle stump to give us an eighth wicket before Dre got the number nine to try something fairly violent. The ball looped to point and they were nine down. Home and hosed we thought. Here followed an extraordinary period of cricket as the Middies were sledged by the number eleven as he wafted, edged and blocked. We sledged back and then under orders from Headmaster Edwards, we stopped sledging back. An inspired move. With five overs to go, we had our moment. With George having located the inner WACA of this sludgy sticky wicket, the number ten snicked to Sparrow. But no. Alas, t’was shelled. Next ball, the number ten fended to Friendy. But no. Alas, t’was shelled. “Oh drat”, to paraphrase Garrett’s reaction as the younger members of the kindergarten 3rd XI struggled to contain a mixture of laughter, desperation and full-on rage. Then Edwards made his call. Howeld into the attack. Be a hero. 10 men around the bat. Hearts bounding, silly point on the verge of tears. But then, seven balls remaining. Dreamy delivery – dip, drift, revs aplenty. A shnick. Edwards at his most impeccable took the catch. Praise be to God. The game was won. Suffice to say we didn’t stay for a drink. At the risk of copying exactly what Millsy said in his report last week, it’s worth noting that this game was marred by a number of, frankly, staggering incidents on and off the field. As always, we conducted ourselves well and can holds our heads high. A fantastic win, especially without stalwarts Sheppard, Lake, Victor and Parker. The spirit shown was immense and was, in no small part, down to stand-in skipper Edwards, who, with bat, gloves, brain and maturity, was superb throughout. Dre and Sparrow also class. 12 points, joint top, Finchley at home next week. Float like a butterfly, win like the 3s. There’s a title to defend, gentlemen.

North Midd 4th XI vs Barnes (Away)
Barnes 3s 185 for 7 overs
North Midd 4s 169 all out off 36 overs
Barnes won by 16 runs

After weeks of patchy availability, a host of returning 4s legends gave the side a much more familiar look this week. So it was with great confidence that we trekked south-westward to take on Barnes. Their ground is, as all you nature lovers will know, adjacent to the London Wetland Centre – an irony not lost on the 4s as we arrived to find a soggy track with a mud patch on a length. Bizarrely, an adjacent pitch, which had been left uncovered, was much drier than the one we were supposed to play on. After much negotiation with a not-altogether enthusiastic oppo, we started at 2, reducing the game to 83 overs and playing on the adjacent pitch. The skipper won his third toss in a row and duly inserted Barnes. Pistol and the returning KP opened up, bowling tightly and restricting the scoring to 2 an over. The pitch, despite misgivings, played remarkably well, if slowly. After the first 20 overs, Barnes had reached only 42 for 2 but some lusty hitting saw them reach 185 off 44 overs at tea. Still, it was a solid bowling performance, with good contributions from Dykey, Ferg (playing his first game of the season) and Joe 'Bangers' Bengerter making his debut. We dropped a lot of catches though. KP and the skipper (which sounds like some terrible Burt Reynolds buddy movie from the 70s) got us off to a flyer thanks to some poor bowling. Both tucked into an appetising mix of half-trackers and half-volleys to take us to 72 before Burgoyne fell for 27. KP at the other end was smashing the ball to all parts and, when joined by Chrissy Evans the score rattled along to 125 before Chrissy nicked off for a typically fluid 25. Just 60 needed but with Gale getting plenty of movement at one end and Wickham bowling grenades from the other, wickets fell steadily. Frustratingly, we couldn't put another partnership together and eventually fell 16 short. A game we should have won. Great to have KP back – 13 quality overs and 61. Not a bad day's work! And at least the long journey home was more enjoyable than it should have been thanks to DJ Fergy-Ferg taking command of the in-car entertainment.

North Midd 5th XI vs Perivale (Home)
Perivale 118 All Out from 44 overs
North Midd 122-4 from 30 overs
North Midd won by 6 wickets

A win at last! A quick look at the pitch suggested that the earthworms had taken a liking to it, the oppo skipper claimed it was the ‘worst pitch he had ever seen’ and that it would be ‘dangerous’. In truth, it did have the look of a wet pitch from Cricket 04 on the PS2 about it. Skipper Arj, unimpressed by the change in temperature from Delhi to Walthamstow, won the toss and chose to field, then realised we had only 8 players ready to go with Usman ‘just at the roundabout’ and Shay Kohler and Doug on their way. Naturally, Usman rocked up ready to take the new ball with Jonny Gould (2-26), both taking apart the Perivale top order with some very accurate bowling, backed up very well in the field, Alex Croft taking two smart catches at fly slip. The pitch, anything but dangerous, was remarkably consistent as batsman after batsman got themselves out playing poor shots. Jonny’s spell finished, on came Charles Martland (1-33) to bowl a very tidy 7 overs, including the ball of the day to dismiss their No. 6, knocking back off stump. Usman kept going down the hill, continuing to take wickets at regular intervals although the last two did not come as easily. Their skipper, Marthinus Blom, hit an impressive 44 before succumbing to the tireless Usman who finished with the incredible figures of 7-36 from 21.1 overs, including 6 maidens, Perivale totalling 118 all out from 44 overs. Enjoying another one of Yvette’s teas, we were fairly confident of chasing the target down, provided we played with a straight bat as their lower order had shown. Jonny and Tim Oon opened up, sadly Jonny was unable to continue his form from last week, but Tim went about his usual way of playing; frustrate the bowlers and then look to score once settled at the crease, hitting a very smart 36. Alban and Doug fell cheaply, with Charles batting steadily at one end. Arj went in and picked up the pace a little, eating away at the target score. Both batsmen kept the scoreboard ticking against the spinners and soon the game was up, Charles hitting a delightful lofted cover drive to the fence for the win by 6 wickets, Arj ending up on 43* and Charles with a very slow but important 19* from 69 balls. A clinical performance all-round earning the 5s our much-needed first win of the season, hopefully the first of many as we look to climb the table in the coming weeks.